Be Mundane, Then Insane
by rainbow melons
Summary: Just some harmless drabbles under 1000 words. Attempts at the funny, the romantic, and the occasional crazy. Try it out! Like it? Review it. Hate it? Improve it. Some implied couplings. Prepare for some flares!
1. Some Wea(se)l Business Down There

Sakura fidgeted in her seat with two steaming cups of tea in front of her. Patiently waiting for the matriarch of the Uchiha family was easy for Sakura, for the first few minutes that is. Patience was not one of Sakura's finest points. Her desire to do something, anything really, productive stemmed from her job as a doctor. On duty, Sakura rarely would get any breaks, as she was heavily relied upon as one of the main doctors of the Konoha hospital. Even off duty, Sakura would be doing a pro-active task.

Today, Sakura was able to take day off from work, so she visited Mikoto for a pleasant chat. Somehow the two women had built a strong friendship over the years and frequently dropped by each other's houses for some conversation and tea. So when Mikoto uncharacteristically excused herself for a brief moment, Sakura remained at the family table, occasionally sipping her still-warm tea.

Looking at the clock, Sakura noticed some time had past, and slowly got up from her seat and empty cup in search for Mikoto. Her feet brought her to the long corridor, making little sound against the polished wooden floor due to years of being a ninja.

Sakura actually had never been formally given a tour of the Uchiha house, only having been told where the kitchen and dining room were, as well as the bathroom (three doors down in the corridor).

Sakura stopped when she heard a rustling sound of some sort from a room she had passed. Backtracking her footsteps, she opened the door with her eyes closed, about to ask Mikoto what was taking her so long.

"Mikoto-san, I decided to look for you, because….", managed to escape through her lips before lips before she saw who exactly was making the rustling sound she heard outside.

An Uchiha, definitely, but not the Uchiha she had expected. No. This Uchiha was none other than her teammate's brother, her friend's son, and the person who often occupied amorous dreams of many females' (and some males') dreams. Itachi Uchiha.

Of course, he never appeared in her dreams at night, but Sakura still thought he looked… very, extremely hot, to say at the least.

Lying on his own bed, Itachi had just woken up and was only wearing boxers. Sakura felt her face warm up as she shamelessly gawked at Itachi. _Definitely staying in my dreams for weeks._ Emerald eyes travelled from his attractive face, to his muscular arms, and just continued down… down… down… before it stopped at his only article of clothing.

Alert even after he had just woken up, Itachi smirked at Sakura, about to comment on her blushing face, but stopped once he noticed that her petite body was quivering.

Once more, Itachi was ready to say something, before abruptly remembering _what_ he wore to sleep the night before.

Sakura felt a giggle escape through her lips, and quickly bit her tongue. It proved to be impossible to stop her oncoming laughter, however.

After all, who could stop their laughter when they found out that the ever irresistibly sexy, unbelievably strong older brother of the Uchiha family wore dango boxers to sleep?

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Words: 530

Hey! Quick explanation: these are just going to be quick, fun stories of interaction between certain characters of Naruto. I do not own any of the characters; all proper ownerships and such go to their respective owners. These are not completely original ideas always, as I will draw some of them from various pictures, other sources, and such. In regards to that, however, I will pay the proper respects to the inspirations. I hope you can review and tell me how I can improve! Much thanks, and hope you enjoyed it!

Ending Note: So.. can any of you tell me what this is referring to? It's a funny picture of Itachi on a bed, in Hanami dango boxers, but with a shirt on. I omitted some details, as I thought it would be a bit more entertaining if the only article he wore turns out to be dango boxers.

The reference is from a picture I found on the tumblr of bloodredhues. You say "thank you", I say "you're welcome". Go crazy.

bloodredhues. tumblr image/ 37768057367


	2. Only You

Naruto looked, and looked,

Before his head shook.

He couldn't, it was forbidden,

It was a love needed to be hidden.

The love passed his ramen obsession,

Which already surpassed many dimensions.

The object of his affection,

Would never receive his rejection.

Being the first thing he would come home to,

They felt no burden to woo.

With gentle curves,

Naruto would never swerve.

White and silky skin,

Just like all the rest of their kin.

Though being everywhere around Konoha's rim,

They were unique to him and for him.

Wanting to end his mission,

Naruto had to ask for permission.

Never fearing to be a widow,

Oh, Naruto's very own pillow.

Naruto, having been exhausted from latest mission, rushed home. He rushed into his messy apartment and flew into his bed. Exactly like every time right after a difficult mission, Naruto hugged his white pillow against his body and fell asleep, dreaming of his comfortable pillow and some ramen.

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Words: 160

Disclaimer: Naruto and everything (even the pillow and the ramen) go to their respective owners.

Ending Note: I don't even…. I don't even know what I just wrote. Written in the early hours, in my bed, a stroke of genius hit me—or as genius as lying on a bed one can get. A bit different from the story before, but still had some story-telling at the end (very short). Remember! Like it? Review it! Hate it? Improve it! Improve as in, you know, spelling mistakes, awkwardness, and the general concept. Or was this too confusing for you?

Inspiration: My pillow.


	3. Oh, That Mistletoe!

A bit of fair forewarning first: there will be some cussing due to the personalities of some characters residing in this chapter. Fancy words, yo. So this chapter will be **rated M**, for the general precaution. Not for any sexual intercourse. Implied, maybe, perhaps, but not actual.

* * *

It was a freezing winter day, all cold but lacking snow. Anyone not comforted by the innards of their house were subjected to freezing their butt off on this day. Such were the thoughts of a poor soul, wandering from his school to the nearest building available.

"Fuck! Why aren't any of these stores open!? I'm freezing my ass out here!" came the eloquent words from a handsome silver-haired youth, shivering in his poorly made clothing. "Who was the fuckin' asshole who told me there were several new hot pieces of ass at school?"

He remembered. It was Deidara. He should have known something was up when the asshole was grinning far more than needed when revealing information about "finely-made, heaven sent, banging pieces of artwork". When Hidan arrived at school, which he seldom ever did, he found nothing more than a card at the gates with a recorded voice that said, "Merry Christmas! This will now explode in 3…2…"

And the rest was history. Or maybe it was just Hidan chucking the card to the best of his abilities towards the school and sprinting the opposite way like the devil itself was on his heels. He swore he felt part of the explosion touch his sacred hair. Did Deidara _even know_ how sacred it was? It attracted all the ladies with its silkiness and sexiness! That's how sacred it was!

Seeing all the festivity hung up on the stores (now houses) and not one soul roaming through the streets, Hidan grumbled quietly that one day he would get all of them… All of them! Except for maybe that one girl he just glared at…

At once, he turned his heel and made a beeline straight for the teenager. It was his only chance at warmth, his place of residence being far away— _way_ too far away for his liking.

"Hey you!" Hidan barked at the stilled girl. She turned around, looked at him with frightened, pale eyes, froze in place for a beat, before sprinting to her house with a squeak.

Immediately, Hidan chased after her, just barely catching the door before it closed. He tried to wrench it open, to be allowed into a heaven of warmth. The girl, not wanting any stranger to be in her house, pulled it back, while stuttering, "What… What do you want?"

Not missing a beat, Hidan retorted, "Your heat, you dumbass!" He felt her tug the door even harder. "Not in that way! I mean…! Fuck explaining! Your house's heat!"

Surprisingly, the girl's hold on the door relaxed a bit. Taking advantage of that, he swung the door open, and sprinted inside the house, or would have, if the girl hadn't been there.

Two lips crashed against each other. White eyes against purple eyes. Both of the lips' owners looked at each other in astonishment. There was no heat between them (as both lips were cold), no sensual experience, and absolutely no realization as to what in the world just happened.

However, a third person entering the room might have been able to testify what had happened, and that is just what she did.

"Back so soon, Hinata? What the hell was all that noise? I guess—" the pink-haired girl paused at the sight of locked lips, before a sly smirk slowly began to spread across her face. "I guess that mistletoe _did_ have some use after all."

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**Words: 568**

Ending Notes: Totally completely crack. In high moods for Christmas, but I didn't want to do it on Christmas, to avoid any issues of any kind. I have never kissed passionately, so there's my experience of kissing! And those of you not supporting crack pairings: you are missing out on life. I also realize that school usually closes for winter break far away from Christmas itself, but you know? Truth to the best of my abilities, it was close, just Hidan happened to be not attentive enough to a school's schedules, having skipped much of it. MERRY CHRISTMAS (eve) GUYS!

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything, never will, except for maybe my typed words. But that's it!**

Inspiration: Christmas. As well as crosses, which somehow brought me to the thought of Hidan, as absurd as that sounds. I was originally planning to use a quote from an Asian drama, "The only things you can trust are your determination and the strength of your butt." But seeing, how Christmas was so close, I was like, "Hey, why not?" Now you know what to expect in the future.

How it ended: For any of you curious for whatever reason and lack complete imagination to continue the story on. I'll just throw something at you: Hinata faints, while Hidan protests. Sakura rolls eyes, and keeps Hidan. Someone from the Akatsuki gang comes over to pick Hidan up (Itachi, for lack of ideas, and support for Itasaku). Hinata forgets this incident ever happened and Sakura and Itachi have some lurve-lurve. The end. Oh! And Hinata and Hidan never encounter each other again. Ever.


	4. Butt Power

Searching for any forms of human life, strands of pink hair swung from Sakura's left cheek to her right, before hitting her left again. Her hands were occupied with a towering stack of binders upon binders, her thighs clamped together to not let her phone drop and crash onto the marble floor.

Sakura had to had to had to get this done and over with before the bell rang, before some random student came over, looked at her, and started mocking her in her current predicament, with her butt sticking out and all, which would catch the attention of several other students and teachers and—and—!

Her eyes glared at the binders that her teacher dropped on her, but couldn't quite glare at the phone that caused this all. She supposed it was a form of unofficial punishment that Kakashi-sensei gave her: deliver this to the office because you tried to hide the phone you were texting with. Usually the silver-haired teacher didn't care about what any of his students did, as long as they managed a passing grade. Sakura surmised that today was her teacher's "breaking point" (when she previously thought that such a thing never existed), when the whole entire class was texting while he was teaching. Well, almost the whole entire class, because heaven forbid the uptight student, Sasuke Uchiha, from texting anyone during class.

Then when she pulled out her phone, thinking that everything was going to be fine like usual and how Ino had moved onto some other guy and that Sasuke's older brother was _fine_ as heck…. Kakashi-sensei locked in on her and told her to go outside, with her phone and all.

And then when she got outside and put her phone between her legs, because she decided to put on an outfit with not pockets, because she thought she wouldn't need her bag, because she knew how Kakashi-sensei would not do anything to her phone, Sakura's eyes suddenly couldn't see in front of her anymore

"Take these to the office." Sakura heard Kakashi-sensei's voice, before feeling the unknown object(s?) be placed into her hands. It took her a few seconds and a push into the direction of the office to realize that the thing blocking her vision were things and they were binders, and that she was being punished for taking out her phone in class. Even though it was presented in such a weird way only her teacher could think of, it was still punishment.

_Better than detention._ Sakura mused in her head at the time, shuffling across the hallway, trying her best to locate the office room with some blocked vision as a handicap.

* * *

Sakura knew she had reached the office door, but couldn't open it. If only her feet were free, then she could kick the door open, drop the papers off, then leave immediately.

But with an object that hindered that action, the only other plausible idea was to push the door open with her butt.

_Which is why my butt is sticking out right now. _For once, her brain died on her and cut off all inspirations and genius thinking.

Glancing to her left and right once more, she straightened up, before unleashing the power that only butts could accomplish.

Only that she was met with air.

_One more time! You can do this! Everyone's in class right now! Just do it!_ Sakura encouraged herself, hobbling towards the door a bit, before straightening once more, and propelling her butt towards the door, just barely hearing a rushed "Wait!" _Strange, doors shouldn't be talking._

Doors should not be talking, indeed. Unfortunately for poor Sakura, the doors opened silently and quickly before Sakura even launched herself, revealing someone who she later argued that he shouldn't even have been in the office.

And so, the butt of Sakura Haruno, dreamer of all persons 'fine as heck', hit the crotch of Itachi Uchiha, epitome of all 'fine as heck' people.

_This is so not better than detention._

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Words: 661

Disclaimer: Do not own anything. Proper ownership goes to proper people!

Ending Note: I felt the part before the line separation was unnecessary. Hm.. Oh well. Review it, please! So I can know what I can improve on~! Thanks!

Inspiration: This: "The only things you can trust are your determination and the strength of your butt." From some random Asian drama. Or I presume to be an Asian drama. I could be wrong. I probably am.


	5. Pink-haired Fairy

"Okaa-san! Okaa-san! Look!"

One little, chubby hand tugged on a long skirt, as the other chubby hand was urgently pointing in the direction of a young girl on a swing.

The mother of the child smiled as she turned around to see what her son was now focused on.

"Yes?"

A hand relinquished its hold on the skirt to join the other pointing hand in order to fully emphasize little swinging girl's abnormal feature.

"Look! Her hair! It's so weird! The color! Why is it pink?"

"Do not point your finger at someone like that, Shi, it is considered rude here."

"But Mom-! Look at her hair! I wish my hair was special like that!"

"What are you saying? Your hair is just as special; a beautiful blonde, just like your father's."

A kind smile was held on the mother's face as she lowered herself to meet her child's dark eyes with her own, speaking in a hushed voice.

"Perhaps she is a fairy, sent to this world to bless children like you."

"Really? Really? That's so cool!"

Then, the young boy fell silent before lifting his head to meet eyes once, before silently pleading the lady for something_, Could I go talk to the fairy?_ The lady rose back to her height easily, not showing any signs of her many years, and nudged her son towards the solitary girl.

"Go on, I'll be nearby. Over by that bench over there, you see? Now go on, Shi."

The boy registered his mother's words, grinning widely and rapidly nodding his head before rushing over to the girl on the swing set.

"I'm Shi! What's your name?"

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Words: 276

Ending Notes: Childhood fluff, how I love you. Honestly, I wanted to do a full on fluffy story with a childhood, second meeting, and wedding and everything. But I find this a bit more realistic, meeting once, then never again. After all, if you took it canon, then the Cloud and Fire's relationship would already be rather fragile, due to the Hyuuga incident. Somehow, I ended up with this.

Disclaimer: I have no relation to Naruto that relate to a monetary gain for me.

Inspiration: A ShiSaku fanfiction that I read a few days back, "All's Fair in Love and War". It is wonderful.


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